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Update from 12. 08. 2008

Update from 12. 08. 2008

Star Wars: Clone Wars is out! Great news for all the super-starwars-fans, but for normal people? Especially for the nagging, pessimistic ones like myself, how does this news apply after all this licence-milking George Lucas had going on recently...?

Well... Bad. Can't say i am especially marvelling about it. It's not like the protagonists could reveal anything new to us, can they? We have seen them more than enough. We know pretty much their full life. We even know what their kids will do, for christ sakes! About how many other movies beside Star Wars hold this fact for you?!

The obvious difference with this same cast as in the prequel movies is: They are now 3D Models. You know, 3D is the magic, that turns everything into gold nowadays. At least that's what the big bosses in Holywood obviously believe, how else can you explain all this 3D junk we got fed recently? I guess it was just a matter of time for a 3D Star Wars movie to show up. For me the 3D novelty has worn off with probably Ice Age 2. This pretty much put the great Ice Age to sleep.

I can spot two groups that might be seriously interested in this instance now: Kids and Fans. And if you're neighter there isn't really any reason to watch this. For Kids the "Rated PG for sci-fi action violence throughout, brief language and momentary smoking" is a definite disadvantage. Leaves the Nerds... Fans i wanted to say. So what do the fans got to say? Here we go: Mental Floss speaks it's mind. And i disagree.

1) "No More Hayden Christensen!"

If the non-presence of something is supposed to be a prove of quality, then this license is in serious problems!

2) "Awesome Anime-Inspired Art"

Three words with A, must be true, huh? Gimme a break. Mixing 3D, Anime and Western SciFi is the dummest thing i heard in a long time.

3) "Clone/Droid Carnage Galore"

Yea, that might tickle me a little, but these scenes are probably just during the end and i can't be assed to watch a movie just for the end.

4) "Jabba’s Southern Uncle"

Oh, for god's sake... Instead of coming up with a new character, they just recycle another one through the family ties bullshit. This license really turns into the biggest family clusterf*** eversince. How many brothers, fathers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nieces and who knows what do we have to endure?! It puts the Waltons to shame! Oh, and another one: I wonder who Ziro the Hutt's brother had to bang to come up with something like Jabba. And especially how these Hutts pull off such a stunt would probably drive tears into any slug-interested biologist's eyes...

5) "It’s Actually Funny"

Finally a reason that might make a difference. But without any glimpse of it, i can't seriously be interested, can i? So unless some friends tell me they laughed their asses off, i don't even care.

6) "A Female Main Character Who Fights"

Pfff... she looks like a little boy, so no real difference there.

7) "George Lucas Didn’t Write, Direct, or Produce It"

Oh well... look up 1) for that. At least he invented the whole thing, kicking him off board sounds to me like they movie studios are giving the fanboys control of the universe. Like one of those that stand in line for a ticked dressed as Darth Vader in bright sunshine. I would say the movie is a success if the story is better than this dudes costume smells...

Seriously, this license is dead meat!